What role should Husbands or Partners play in celebrating Mother’s Day? Clearly we had a role in making you into mothers, so should we be responsible for ensuring your Mother’s Day is a success? It’s difficult to know because when we ask for guidance, you usually say ‘don’t worry, you don’t have to get me anything’. But we assume this doesn’t mean ‘don’t get me anything’. We are pretty sure that this is a trap.
The thing is, we need a bit of advance notice as we will have to do a bit of planning. It would be good if you could drop some pretty clear (very specific) hints about what you would like to do. We will also need to negotiate with the children to manage their expectations. I am pretty sure we won’t be able to get hold of any unicorns to make your day super special, and we are not sure they are your favourite animal anyway. Whilst Mother’s Day is not a day for expensive presents, we are pretty sure you’d appreciate some flowers. You told us not to get you any more chocolates after you ate so many at Christmas – is that still extant direction? We expect that you want Mother’s Day to be about the small gestures that show we appreciate you rather than expensive spa days and jewellery?
We can get our small children to do a crayon signature or a hand print in your card. We can encourage the bigger ones to make their cards or gifts. We know how much you like their artwork. We will try and work out what they are already doing at school, so that you don’t get duplicates, although we know you won’t mind if you do. We will try not to cover the house in glitter or paint and if we bake a cake, we will not use every pan in the kitchen and then leave it for you to wash up.
The internet says that we should help the children make you breakfast in bed (not before 11am). But is this something that you really want? Does anyone actually eat in bed anymore? What about toast crumbs? How about we get it ready downstairs and contain the mess? Maybe you could tell us what your dream breakfast is, as the children want to make alphabet spaghetti with a large glass of wine as they think that’s your favourite.
You may want to have a lovely day out and it would be great if you could confirm this. There are lots of Mother’s Day outings in the local ‘what’s on’ guides. If that’s not right and actually, you would just like a quiet day by yourself, then we could take the children and leave you in peace. Perhaps you would like a nice bath with some candles, or a catch up on Netflix, or you could call your own mother for a nice long chat. Don’t worry about the mess we made decorating cards and making breakfast, we will clean that up when we get back. We will make dinner too (or pick it up from the takeaway). Maybe you’d like a drink in the evening too – with a guarantee that we will get up for the kids in the night.
We know that you will understand when we have to call our own mothers and you won’t get jealous. We will try really hard not to sneak off and watch sport on telly. We will also try not to gloat about what great and selfless Dads we are for helping your children make your day special. We do get that this day is for you and hopefully if we plan it well enough with the children, then next year they can do it all by themselves. We also know that it’s only 3 months until Fathers Day.
From a Dad